How you can answer 'how are you' sarcastically?

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1) "My psychiatrist says that I shouldn’t discuss it with strangers"

Just a twitch of the eye will do wonders for this part.

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2) "It’s too early to tell"

Look around cautiously, as though you're afraid someone will ruin your day. This is a great solution for the office or at home.

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3) "Slowly but surely dying"

This applies to every single one of us. Remembering our own mortality always seems to bring out a chuckle, right? This is great for parties and get-togethers.

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4) "Maybe one day you’ll be lucky enough to find out"

They asked a question they thought was straightforward, but it turned out to be a tremendous secret destined for very specific ears.

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5) "My lawyer has stated that I don’t have to answer that question"

They'll be taken aback by your unexpected level of formality, but they'll quickly recover and start laughing their heads off.

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6) "Good question..."

Don't just turn and walk away without giving it some thought; do it at your own peril. Refrain from handing out freebies.

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7) "What’s with the third degree? You a cop?"

If you want a truly authentic response, you should pretend to be an Italian mobster hitman and ask in their language.

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8) "Can’t complain—I’ve tried, but no one listens"

Saying it's against company policy is another option if you're having a discussion with a colleague.

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9) "The doctor said I would live"

When they look at you suspiciously, just tell them you came in for a checkup and everything is fine.

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10) "How do you want me to be?"

This joke works best when spoken with an intimate tone (or fire things up right away).

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